28-year-old discovers her husband of 2 years has been hiding his 4-year-old kid from her the entire time they've been together: 'I don't even see the kid much anyway'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 15, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

There are a lot of things you need to disclose within the first month of dating somebody. You need to be clear about what you're looking for, whether you're still married to your ex, and if you have any kids from a previous relationship. Not everyone has the kind of baggage that needs to be disclosed on day zero, but if you're a parent, that's got to be one of the first things someone you're dating knows. You don't want to end up like the diva on Love Island who kept saying, "I'm a mommy," to no avail. 

If you're in your early 20s and have a young kid that you're taking care of, that will definitely be a dealbreaker for some people. It won't be a dealbreaker for everybody, though, and as long as you're honest from the jump, there's no reason you can't find a partner who loves you and your child. 

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  • The wife in this story was blindsided by her husband's betrayal. He kept the fact that he had a 4-year-old son from her for years. This kid was at least 2 years old when they got married, and his bride didn't even know he existed. 

  • 01

    AITAH for telling my husband I can accept his child but not his lies?

    So... this just exploded in my face and I don't even know what to feel right now. I'm 28. My husband's 30. We've been married for two years. I thought I knew everything I needed to know about him. We're not perfect, but we've built something. Or so I thought. Last
    via u/Electrical_Cash_9130
  • 02
    weekend, I found out something that shook me. He has a kid. A whole child. A four year old. And no this wasn't some adoption plan or a family secret from the past he just found out about. He knew. He's known. Since before we even got married. Since before we even got serious. And
    via u/Electrical_Cash_9130
  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10530331392
    via Olivia Bauso

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    he just... kept it to himself. Never said a word. Not once. Not when we were talking about our own plans for kids. Not when I asked him about his past relationships. Not even when we had that big conversation before the wedding about "no secrets." Wanna know how I found out? His mom. Slipped up during a family dinner.
    via u/Electrical_Cash_9130
  • 05
    Mentioned how "his son looks just like him" in front of everyone. And I'm just sitting there like his WHAT? Everyone went quiet. Like someone hit mute. I felt sick. Later that night, I confronted him. At first, he denied it. Said I misunderstood. Then he admitted it. Said he was scared I'd leave. That it "wasn't relevant." That "he
    via u/Electrical_Cash_9130
  • 06
    doesn't even see the kid much anyway." Like that made it better. I told him this I can accept that he has a child. I can even accept that the child came from a time before us. But what I can't accept is the fact that he hid it from me. For
    via u/Electrical_Cash_9130
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10530269952
    via =Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    years. That he lied by omission every day. That he built a marriage on a false version of himself. He tried to guilt me. Said I was being harsh. That
    via u/Electrical_Cash_9130
  • 09
    I was "punishing him for being a father." No. I'm punishing him for being a liar. Big difference. And now his mom is involved too. She's blowing up my phone, saying I'm "overreacting" and "trying to erase her grandchild."
    via u/Electrical_Cash_9130
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10530331648
    via Otacilio Maia

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    Like... what?? I never said anything bad about the kid. My issue is with her son lying to me. But of course, she's taking his side. I haven't decided what I'm gonna do yet. Part of me wants to pack up and go. Another part feels stuck. And then there's this
    via u/Electrical_Cash_9130
  • 12
    loud, messy voice in my head going, "Maybe it's not that big a deal? Maybe you are being dramatic?" So yeah. I'm all twisted up over this. I accepted the truth about the child. What I can't accept is being lied to every single day of my marriage. That betrayal? That's what broke me. So... AITAH?
    via u/Electrical_Cash_9130
  • 13
    Averwinda If he doesn't seem the child much, then what kind of father is he? Do you want to have children with someone who can just walk away from his child easily? NTA!!
    via u/Averwinda
  • 14
    Difficult Mood_3225 • 2h ago I think you are severely underreacting. This is a betrayal of epic proportions! Not to be dramatic, but to me, this is worse than cheating. You have a whole child who you did not tell me about, but also don't seem to care about. And you want me to have kids with you one day!
    via u/Difficult_Mood_3225
  • 15
    NTA. who do you have as a support system? Your parents, a best friend or a sibling? This is the time when you need to lean on them. And leave this loser!
    via u/Difficult_Mood_3225
  • 16
    Lazy-Instruction-600 100%. He isn't even the man you married at all. Who you married was a lie. That person doesn't actually exist. It was a conjured up version of himself that he got his family to pretend was the truth - all to deceive you. I am so sorry you are going through this OP. No one deserves to have their spouse engage in this level of deceit. And if
    via u/Lazy-Instruction-600
  • 17
    his reasoning were to even be believed, he did it. because he didn't trust you to love him enough to stay if he was honest with you. Silly admitting he didn't think you would want the real him. But he never gave you the opportunity to decide. Don't be guilt tripped into staying with a family who lies so easily to your face. They don't respect you. They obviously never did. NTA
    via u/Lazy-Instruction-600
  • 18
    zipper1919 Yeah, if a member of my family tried to get me to hide anything about them to the person "they are wooing", I would tell them no freking way, and they better tell them right now. Id remind them if the relationship got serious, you would have to lie forever about that.
    via u/zipper1919
  • 19
    And this is a kid we are hiding?? A whole human being??!!?? How is that gonna work? The kid is 4. He's gonna grow up into a person with his own thoughts and ideas. He would have to be brought in on this lie for it to succeed! ? No. Just, no.
    via u/zipper1919
  • 20
    DisneyBuckeye That's my big issue here too. The entire family knew about the kid. So not only did her husband lie to her, he convinced his entire family to deceive her as well. Makes me wonder what else they've all conspired and lied about as well.
    via u/DisneyBuckeye
  • 21
    Superb-Department316 Annulment due to fraud
    via u/Superb-Department316
  • 22
    Tough-Astronomer-456 I was wondering if this would be possible
    via u/Tough-Astronomer-456
  • 23
    Understanding Big9090 Depends on the laws. Some states in the USA the fraud has to make the marriage illegal at time of getting married. Like one person was underaged or currently already married. I think there are other laws elsewhere where annulment over something like this is possible or has been done.
    via u/UnderstandingBig9090
  • 24
    Expat_89 NTA. Major breach of trust. Couple's counseling is a must. But.... Honestly, my personal opinion is that there's no coming back from that....I'd be looking for a lawyer.
    via u/Expat_89
  • 25
    TitzMagee_SD Wonder what else he's lying about. Hiding a child for YEARS is not a sign that it's his first time at deception and defending it shows no remorse. He doesn't think he's done anything wrong....Why would you want to stay??
    via u/TitzMagee_SD

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long term relationship child toddler kids toddlers lies wife relationship-drama married life secrets relationships husband dad married toxic relationship children Father
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